dating ..women and those that read..but more importantly fall for the girl who writes…

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“You should date a girl who reads. Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she has found the book she wants. You see that weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a secondhand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow and worn. She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book. Buy her another cup of coffee. Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice. It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry and in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does. She has to give it a shot somehow. Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world. Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who read understand that all things must come to end, but that you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two. Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series. If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are. You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype. You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots. Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads. Or better yet, date a girl who writes.”     ― Rosemarie Urquico

We have a soul at times..that is non-stop

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We have a soul at times.
No one’s got it non-stop,
for keeps.
Day after day,
year after year
may pass without it.
Sometimes
it will settle for awhile
only in childhood’s fears and raptures.
Sometimes only in astonishment
that we are old.
It rarely lends a hand
in uphill tasks,
like moving furniture,
or lifting luggage,
or going miles in shoes that pinch.
It usually steps out
whenever meat needs chopping
or forms have to be filled.
For every thousand conversations
it participates in one,
if even that,
since it prefers silence.
Just when our body goes from ache to pain,
it slips off-duty.
It’s picky:
it doesn’t like seeing us in crowds,
our hustling for a dubious advantage
and creaky machinations make it sick.
Joy and sorrow
aren’t two different feelings for it.
It attends us
only when the two are joined.
We can count on it
when we’re sure of nothing
and curious about everything.
Among the material objects
it favors clocks with pendulums
and mirrors, which keep on working
even when no one is looking.
It won’t say where it comes from
or when it’s taking off again,
though it’s clearly expecting such questions.
We need it
but apparently
it needs us
for some reason too.

25 things every woman should have by the age of 25

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1. Enough confidence to no longer feel the need to justify what she eats, who she dates or what she wears, not only to other people, but to herself. 

2. A bank account with three months’ living expenses in it.

3. Only the phone numbers, Facebook friends, weekend plans, and roommates she actually wants.

4. A best friend who is like a sister.

5. A space of her own.

6. A good idea of what she needs in a romantic relationship, not just what she wants, or what she thinks she needs, and the willingness to explore different people and other ideas to find what exactly that is.

7. A closet of what she considers to be her “staples,” and among these things, something to wear to an interview, funeral, wedding, impromptu Friday night drinks at a casual bar and her dream date if ever someone were to call out of the blue.

8. The tact and grace to ask for a raise, a promotion, a change in a relationship or a date with someone she’s into.

9. The faith that she deserves those things.

10. A favorite coffee order, go-to restaurant for when friends visit from out of town, hairstyle that takes less than five minutes in the morning, “thank you” cards in her desk drawer, the print copy of her favorite book, and bedding that she is proud to show off.

11. A hobby that has nothing to do with drinking, shopping or somebody else.

12. The recipes for a number of easy but amazing meals memorized.

13. The desire and discipline to actually cook for herself. (Just herself.)

14. A trip she tells awesome stories about and a trip she has awesome plans for.

15. A sense that she’s let go of resenting other women for what they do or don’t have over her.

16. Enough of a healthy relationship with her body that her contentment no longer hinges on comparison, or what her partner would think.

17. At least one date in her memory with the kind of person who actually doesn’t care about those things.

18. Forgiveness if she’s dated men who haven’t quite matured as quickly as women tend to in their early 20s.

19. The knowledge of what she wants in bed and the confidence to ask for it without feeling uncomfortable.

20. An electric screw driver, a non-stick pan, a credit card line nobody else has access to, a bra that she was measured for at the store and working knowledge of how to change a tire, unclog a pipe, make an investment and find shoes on the extra 40% rack.

21. A relationship with her mother, even if it’s the decision that their relationship will be at least functioning, if not familial.

22. A passport, a sturdy piece of luggage, and the ability to pack the essentials at a moment’s notice should she be offered the chance to get away for a weekend, a week, or a whole new life.

23. The following emergency kit: Tylenol/Advil, eyedrops, a tampon, hand sanitizer, a fresh pair of underwear, a travel sized toothbrush, hydrocolloid bandages for blisters, $20 cash, a condom, and Plan B.

24. Forgiveness for who she was.

25. An idea of who she wants to be. TC mark

Life..choices…and self gratification.pursuit of pleasure..can lead us to pain

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Life provides us with a multitude of ways in which we can seek gratification through pleasure. I am sure that everyone can recall at least one occassion where a certain desire or void was filled by it. Sometimes though, the pleasure is short-lived and once it is gone.. pain or emptiness surfaces. This simply means that the avoidance of pain, is not entirely possible. Pleasure can lead us to pain.

No single soul will ever be able to be truly ‘gratified’ through the fulfillment of pleasure, as I have said before.. nothing is really of permanence. I suppose that is how the human experience is. We love even though it may not last for an eternity or even a lifetime. We satisfy our basic, physiological needs only to have to satisfy them again the next day. We long for the physical, to be touched and to be able to feel warmth and yet again once that warmth dissipates we again look for what provided us with it in the beginning…that being said do not spend your life in the avoidance of pain and not experience the wonderful scary potential of pleasure in our lives.

In praise of travel

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As you explore the outside world, you fundamentally explore your internal world. These two are inherently linked – what is outside is sourced from within. How you view the world and your perceptions of it arise from your beliefs and values, and by seeing and experiencing different points of view of the world you also change the core beliefs in yourself for the better. You become more understanding, more open and view things from a higher perspective. No longer do you sweat the small stuff as you understand there are others worse off than you, and that what you see as a stressful problem is really a non issue.

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.” – Mark Twain

 

 

There are over 7 billion people in the world and all of them have their own journey in life. When you go travelling you’re bound to meet new people – and some of them will be some of most interesting people you’ve ever met. You’ll learn, get ideas and build connections which will be very beneficial later in life. Wouldn’t it be great to have friends all over the world where you can go stay whenever you feel like leaving the country ? Who knows, you may even meet life long friends and even potential business partners.

if you are going to try

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“If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery–isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.” 
― Charles BukowskiFactotum

 

Winning someone’s heart

 

 

Winning the heart of someone much more physically attractive than you can lead to misery by several routes.

  • Others will compete to woo them away.
  • You may become too besotted, and allow yourself to become psychologically enslaved.
  • Chances are they are flawed in character or some other way otherwise you would not have been able to win them. You may find you have got yourself quite a temperamental handful.
  • You can start feeling unworthy.

You are better off finding someone more evenly matched in beauty who enjoys the same activities you do.

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